


Unspeakable

by hazellepotter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Autumn, Bonding, Comfort, F/M, Grief, Halloween, Halloween Celebration, Hogwarts AU, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Loss, Mourning, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Strangers to Lovers, halloween party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27216364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazellepotter/pseuds/hazellepotter
Summary: When she finally nodded, Harry did something unexpected. He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through her's.
Relationships: Susan Bones/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Unspeakable

Halloween was always the hardest day of the year for Harry. He wanted to love it, he really did, but it only reminded him of what he had lost so many years before.

He imagined how his mother must of loved Halloween, and how she lost her life on that day, too. He imagined his father playfully scaring Lily around the corner that morning and preparing for the Halloween night festivities, only to be met by Voldemort around the corner that night instead. Sometimes, it was unbearable, but he never let anyone know it. 

Now that the war was over and Voldemort was gone, the wounds still had not healed. He was hoping this year would be different, but now that he was back at Hogwarts and the festivities began, he wasn't in the mood.

Hermione understood he needed his time alone, so she took Ron to the party in the Room of Requirement as he walked toward the lake. Harry could hear Dean's muggle speakers booming through the castle walls, but Harry closed his eyes as he dipped his toes into the icy water. It was Autumn and freezing, but he didn't care. It was the only way to clear his mind.

He jumped at the sound of leaves crunching behind him; he had not expected to be followed. He turned around thinking that it had to be Luna; she followed him often on his lonely walks around the grounds at night, but he was surprised to see it was Susan Bones.

Harry had not expected Susan Bones to come back for her eighth year, not after all she had lost. He also had not expected her to be the one coming to see him on this Halloween night.

Her breath was fogging up the air, and her red curls were blowing in the Autumn air. Harry started shivering and brought his jacket closer to his chest.

"Susan," he said, "I wasn't expecting to see you."

The icy ground and leaves below her crunched as she sat down next to him; she did not follow suit and stick her feet into the icy water.

"You are crazy for having your toes in that water. Why are you doing it?"

Oddly enough, Harry felt he could be honest with her. If anyone could understand all he had lost, it was her. She had lost everything, too. 

"It helps me forget," he told her, "I just want to forget for a little while."

He saw her nod from the corner of his eye, and she tucked her hair behind her ear. She started to unlace her combat boots, and Harry perked his brow in surprise. He turned his head to face her.

"It will never leave us, will it?" He asked her. His voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He hadn't even realized he asked her out loud, but he didn't regret his words. If anyone, they felt right in that moment.

She hissed under her breath as she stuck her toes into the icy water, but she didn't complain, "It's not supposed to. I don't even know if I want it to. The pain reminds me that it was real.. that the pain is justified. I shouldn't have to validate my pain but sometimes.."

"...You feel you have too," he finished for her.

Her brown eyes stared deeply into his for a moment; it was as though she was absorbing every word he said in slow motion. When she finally nodded, Harry did something unexpected. He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through her's.

He expected her to pull away; she hardly knew him, after-all. He was just the chosen one that had been a classmate for years. Who knows, she might even blame him for all she had lost, but Susan surprised him by tightening her laced fingers around his. Susan had always been known as an aloof sort of girl. The girl who didn't show her feelings, but had a heart of gold. He had been told that much by his peers. Harry figured this type of vulnerability she was showing him now was rare.

"I know we haven't talked much," she whispered to him, "But I just want you to know that I do understand, and sometimes, the only thing that keeps me going is that someone out there does. If anyone does, it is you."

Her cheeks were flushed as she spoke, but Harry figured it was from the cold. He would never be sure, but he was sure of one thing; he wouldn't be letting her go any time soon. 


End file.
